[.uk] Dear Lover: A Woman's Guide To Men, Sex, And Love's ...

I'm going to be honest...:
For me, David Deida unfortunately has some of the qualities of the children's story "The Emperor's New Clothes". There are two reasons why. The first simply is there are large claims made to what his insights will bring. All his books promise to "guide" us into deeper spiritual understandings in the sexual realm. (And seriously, who wouldn't want that, right?) The second "new-clothesian" quality of Deida has to do with his form of discourse. The thing about his presentation is, there are copious amounts of spiritual beauty backed up by an subtle but constant wash of judgementalism. The structure goes sort of like this: "you want this, you don't have it, I know why you don't, here is what you need to do." But what if one does not totally agree with any of these "stepping stones" to understanding? The answer always seems to be that "you are not open enough yet to see it". "There is some blocking element in you". Very little of his metaphoric insights about "gender" or "essence" or most any of his ideas for that matter, are ever presented as "one can think of it this way" but rather as "this is how it is". He states every belief he has about sexual spirituality with what I consider a totally unwarranted confidence. And he has a system of "stages of growth" to pigeon-hole "where you are stuck". So yes, of course, I want to "get it". Yes, of course, I want to have the deep blissful place that is "my potential". Yes, I really am wanting to "see the emperor's beautiful clothing!" But honestly, while he earnestly and often eloquently gives gifts of insight into the subject, he also is rigid, arrogant, patently condescending, and as a writer, can be deadly dull and repetitive. Most of his core "beliefs" are for me painfully flawed. After reading this book, all I could think was, he really does not have much insight into the depth of the feminine essence nor a "feel for" life as a woman. I would never recommend this book to anyone.

Total Trash:
Oh, hell no. Deida is a clueless tool and this book is misogynistic tripe. Pass it on by.

Great Intro to David Deida for Women:
Dear Lover helped me to understand the yearning I've felt since I've been in my teens. Interesting material for women to get in touch with their own sexuality and needs--probably good reference for males to understand women as well.

A Must-Read for every woman:
This book has changed the way I see myself and the way that I see everyone. One of the most valuable books I have read. It was not what I expected, but turned out to be better. It's not a black and white, Q & A self help book. Nor does it speak of technique or 'Cosmopolitan'sex tips, etc. It is real. And deep. It is about deep, spiritual love and how to allow it.

If you truly love her...:
Foa all men who truly love their girlfriend... A man must be brave to open in the way Deeida explains. He must be truly brave. Fear keeps our hearts closed and confessing this to your "dear lover" is not for the timid or ego driven sould that populate our world. This book is for the woman brave enough to open her heart, to forgive, to understand, to nurture and to love truly. Men who read this will find the deepest truth in black and white... and it's scary. Men who are brave enough to face their own hearts and who love the woman in their life should buy it and read it... read it again and contemplate everything. I read this with my own "dear lover" as well. May our hearts continue to open.