[.uk] Alone Together: Making an Asperger Marriage Work (ISBN 1843105373)

What about her needs?:
My heart bled for this woman, over and over. Why is it so many loving, sensitive women get in relationships with men with Asperger's? Aspie men are brilliant at presenting themselves as charming, intelligent, slightly shy or aloof and we flock to them like bees to honey- feeling that we are the ones who can rescue and bring them out of their lonely shells. I do understand much about Asperger's, and have great compassion, yet why is it that she stays in this marriage that keeps her constantly working so hard to keep him from getting upset or on overload? How could she stay after, "The Girlfriend"? She doesn't touch on a subject that is an issue in many Aspie/NT marriages and that is lying by the Asperger's partner, specifically in relation to infidelity. She begins to touch upon this in "The Girlfriend" chapter, but seems satisfied that Gavin once and for all learned his lesson. I somehow doubt it. Fooling other women who don't know them as well as we do can be addictive to husband's with Asperger's. They don't have to get that disapproving, disappointed vibe that we wives naturally give off after being hurt, lied to, let down countless times. I think this women has begun to love her prison; and has lost her sense of self.

Truthful but kind:
The author does an excellent job of communicating the difficulty of an AS marriage. The title is wonderful and says it all. She does a good job of explaining the frustrations of everyday life, but is very kind and understanding when speaking of her husband even when he is verbally abusive to her. There was somehow a comfort in reading about the feelings and frustrations that I experience daily. It was like I have a friend who understands completely what I am going through and is sharing her similar story with me. I highly recommend the book.

Thankyou:
I recently purchased this book as I suspect my husband has AS. It has been very informative in helping me communicate in a more successful manner and improve our relationship. I am still not sure if AS is applicable to my situation as I am still on the road to discovery. Any assistance is great.

Skeptical:
I must admit, first, that I did not read this entire book. I did, however, feel that most of what I did read was relatively negative and/or biased in its description of the 'Aspie's perspective in situations. Some of the things she says about her husband, while they may be true about him, do not really hold a lot of bearing on people with Asperger's in general. I would personally recommend looking elsewhere if you are hoping to find understanding into these kinds of relationships.

Mutual Understanding Removes Your Stressful Life!:
As Katrin Bentry shows, it is quite hard and challenging for neurotypical(NT) people to deal with Aspies. Gavin, Katrin's husband with Asperger syndrome(AS) is a typical example, I'd say. He was such a perfectionist that the whole family had to treat him with kids' gloves. He likes sports such as tennis and swimming and is very enthusiastic to them. But the problem was that didn't always satisfy his family because of his pedantic and perfectionist approach to life. He got easily ornery when things didn't go all right and their kids couldn't play sports as he had expected. I must say he acted as if he had condescended to them even if he didn't mean to. Nothing was so stressful as this! It not only exhausted him but his family! But why did Katrin decide not to divorce him? I think it's mainly because she realized she herself had several AS traits although she is an NT person. And this motivated her to know more about Gavin's specific AS traits. And her dedication to Gavin could appeal to him. So, understanding each other is the first step to better communication. To me, Gavin has been mellower since his diagnosis with AS.