[.uk] Captains Outrageous (ISBN 0446679631)

Download Description:
Hap Collins, a chicken plant guard, saves a young woman from an attacker, and her father, the owner of the plant, rewards Hap with a large cash bonus. No good deed goes unpunished, however, and when Hap decides he and his best friend Leonard should take a cruise to Mexico and the Caribbean, their troubles begin. Leonard, angered by coat-and-tie rules at an on-board lobster dinner, causes the two to be removed from the ship in Mexico, where in short time Leonard buys an ugly hat, is knifed by an off duty policeman, and is saved from armed attackers by a geriatric fisherman and his lovely daughter. The daughter turns out to have a past that involves a Mexican mobster who's a practicing nudist and has a seven-foot tall lackey who resembles a sumo wrestler. Trying for once to stay out of other people's business, Hap is overwhelmed with regret when the senorita is murdered, and the evil that haunted her follows him home to East Texas, resulting in the death of one of Hap's closest friends. Hap is hot for revenge, and he, Leonard, and Jim Bob Luke, a hog-raising private eye, return to Mexico to even the score.

Sadistic tale:
I think like many book series, you can't start mid-series. I read many glowing reviews of this book and most of them mention the previous books. Coming into this fresh (I'd not heard of Joe R. Lansdale), the characters and the plot seemed very thin, although the earlier books probably established these elements. When I first started the book, it seemed like a strange amalgam of political correctness, graphic violence, and Fletch-like irreverence. As the story progresses, however, dreadful scene piles on dreadful scene until the book comes across as truly sadistic. There is an ugly American (Billy) who seeks to humiliate a Mexican girl in the most unpleasant and crude matter. The reader endures many pages of this behavior. I suppose these scenes are intended to justify Hap and Leonard brutally assaulting this guy again and again and again. Finally, Hap literally spreads his own feces on Billy's face, beats him, and makes him stand in the corner. And then does it again. This comes in a scene right after our "heroes" discover a girl that's been dismembered with a machete. The reader is treated to an explanation of where the individual pieces of the girl are located about the hotel room. The graphic violence continues up until the final chapter of the novel. Oh, did I mention that the book opens with a brutal beating of another girl whom Hap saves? Unfortunately for the girl, Hap doesn't save her until after she's been repeatedly raped, had her face "stomped in," her nipple bitten off, jaw crushed, teeth knocked out, and lost an eye. Wow. Is this a fun read? I guess it's not my cup of tea.

HAP HAZARD:
Poor Hap Collins and Leonard Pine...no matter what they do, they always come out involved in a messy, stinky situation. Once again, Joe Lansdale's "amateur" sleuths find themselves embroiled in murder and mayhem, and it all starts with a good deed. At his new job at the chicken factory, security guard Hap prevents the murder of a wealthy young woman by a crazed maniac. Her millionaire father shows his appreciation by giving Hap a check for a hundred thousand dollars. Leonard, now with his new love John, tells Hap they should go on a cruise..no real reason, just that they've never been on one before. Needless to say, this vacation turns into a nightmare when Leonard mouths off at the concierge and they find themselves stranded in a little fishing town. Enter a beautiful woman, her poor father, some wealthy tourists and we begin our tale of murder and deceit. Lansdale continues his gift for natural dialogue and unique, but believable, situations. We meet a crime lord and his seven foot bully, Hammerhead. It seems sometimes that Lansdale can be a little cruel in his treatment of some of his subordinate characters (Billy for example), and he tends to overdo the sexual innuendo and the sexual encounters. But it's a man's world, and Lansdale knows it. At least the lovely if foul mouthed Brett Sawyer is back, and by the end of the book, who knows..wedding bells? A fine entry in this well executed series.

An ugly story that killed my soul:
I picked this up because it was supposed to be funny. "Joe R. Landsdale is sure to keep you laughing," said the quote from Publishers Weekly right on the cover. So I figured I'd give it a try. Man, this is one mean-spirited, depressing piece of fiction. There is so much violence, cruelty, and negativity in these pages that I could only get halfway through it. I guess I'm just too sensitive because I can't have characters being tortured, beaten, and abused in graphic detail and then just turn around and laugh at some stupid joke. And the jokes aren't even very good.

Lives up to most of the hype:
I was looking for a mystery with a comic touch and this delivered. It is my first Landsdale book and I plan to try others in the Collins and Pine series. I actually laughed out loud several times. The author keeps the story moving and even though the main characters have some superhero characteristics you can ignore that and sit back and enjoy the fast moving story. A realistic take on Mexico doesn't hurt. All in all a good read.

Good stuff:
Joe Lansdale is one of the few writers who can make me laugh till I cry. That's a rare gift, and he did it to me again with this book. Here, Lansdale keeps it going with his dynamic duo, the fairly happy-go-mostly-unlucky Hap Collins and Leonard Pine. In this story, Hap becomes a hero, gets rewarded, and he and Leonard take a cruise. To make a long story short, they end up in Mexico, where they meet a fisherman who owes a great debt; his beautiful (and dutiful) daughter; a walking gargantua, and a nudist Mexican gangster who'd like nothing more than to make a big bowl of gaucamole, with Hap and Leonard as the main ingredients. Captains Outrageous is truly outrageous and fun. I'll be looking for more from this very talented author.